Some really awesome oral sex I received the other night made me think about what qualities I appreciate most in a sexual partner. I have only had one sexual partner (my current one), so perhaps I am not the most experienced in terms of being intimate with different people who have different strengths and weaknesses in the bedroom. I am, however, very experienced in my own personality and my own strengths and weaknesses that can come into play in the bedroom. I have therefore come to the conclusion that my number one trait that I would adore most in a sexual partner is enthusiasm.
I am very openly enthusiastic about sex, both in and out of the bedroom. It is a topic I love discussing, and such have been jokingly labelled as a bit of a “nympho” by people who know me well. As such, I really appreciate that same level of enthusiasm in return. If I’m really into what’s going on, and am putting my best efforts in, the last thing I would want is for my partner to basically be bored. They wouldn’t be having fun, I wouldn’t be having fun as a result, and sex would feel like a chore. If sex isn’t fun, there’s no point in my opinion.
Enthusiasm also has a really great confidence-boosting effect. Despite my eagerness, I am actually rather insecure, in and out of the bedroom. I do worry sometimes if I look OK naked, if what I am doing is any good, if he is actively choosing to do things with me, or if he is just trying to get a “chore” over with to keep me happy. Of course, I know these things are foolish – why would he bother if any of those things were actual issues? He’s wonderful, and actually does an amazing job of treating me a beautiful princess in every interaction in all aspects of our relationship :). Still, one of the reasons I love enthusiasm so much is the reassurance it offers. It makes me feel desired, which in turn makes me feel kind of beautiful and sexy, and thus I feel more confident and will probably do a better job in whatever task is at hand.
When I received this great oral sex the other day, I adored how he kept coming back for more and not being shy about it! He gave me one great orgasm, then I moved down to give him some oral action. After not long, he asked to be back down between my legs again! Another orgasm arose, then another request to go back down south on me! It was in 69 position, so of course, he also got some fun from me at the same time, but he didn’t have to give, I was already giving him oral sex and didn’t request anything from him in return. At one point, he asked me to turn around when I was knelt down in-between his legs spread out on the bed. When I did, he slid me backwards and back onto his face again! Once I had had four orgasms (and was probably close to yet another), he came, and I felt it was more than deserved for being downright lovely and making me feel so wanted and happy.
This story makes it sound like I am confusing generosity with enthusiasm. The key difference is, is that it wasn’t fact he gave me so many orgasms (though a definite bonus!) or the fact he went down on me so many times, it was the fact that he chose to do these things, that he clearly wanted to do these things and his energy was perky and enthusiastic throughout, making the whole mood fun and enjoyable.
I haven’t had to deal with someone with a glaring lack of technique, or an overly-serious/cold/awkward approach to sex, but I really feel with enthusiasm, these things could be overcome and being open about shaping your sex life should become easier. To me, sex is fun, and the best type of fun is sex, so to have someone share the fun with me means a lot.