Oh look, another Lovehoney BASICS item! I am a huge advocate of this range by Lovehoney, especially for those of you starting out in sex toys who are not 100% sure what you are looking for or what you definitely like when it comes to toys. This bullet vibrator is what I would probably consider the quintessential “first” vibrator – cheap, small and non-intimidating (it was actually my third vibrator if you were wondering).
It comes in a little opaque plastic packet that looks a bit cheap, but, to be fair, it is better than wasted packaging for something of only 2.9 inches long (I have since binned the packaging, so no photos, sorry). This dinky size I will note is a good idea for travelling, since it is teeny tiny.
This bullet vibrator consists of two parts: the actual vibrating bullet and the sleeve that goes over the bullet. This sleeve is removable, so you can choose whether to actually use it during play.
The vibrating bullet is made of hard plastic and is non-waterproof. It features one single speed vibration, powered by two LR48 batteries. I appreciate that these batteries are included with the toy, since they are not of the type I just have lying around. They are already inserted when you open the packaging, however you still have to remove them and then put them back in before you can use the toy, since there is a little circle of paper between the batteries inside the bullet. I must admit, it takes a couple of bangs on your hand to get those batteries out of this toy, and it doesn’t get any easier the more times you insert/remove batteries. Once that is sorted, all you have to do is press the button on the bottom to turn the vibrations on, and then press the button again to turn them off. The button is perfect: easy to turn on, but not too easy to turn back off again mid-fun. I have read on the product page that the supposed duration is 35 minutes for the batteries to last (I presume in terms of actual vibration time), but I really feel Lovehoney are under-selling on this aspect – I have probably totalled several hours (over at least a few months, with the batteries left in the entire time, even when not in use) on the same batteries this toy came with, so 35 minutes seems completely inaccurate to me.
The sleeve this comes with has a textured surface of nodules and “wings”, along with a little finger loop, so that you can use this toy without all your fingers getting in the way. The thing that struck me most about this sleeve is that it seriously looks like a mini alien friend, coming to cuddle your clitoris! It has antenna and little outstretched arms and squidgy spikes on its belly… once you see it, you won’t be able to un-see it (on a side note, I thought it’d be a fun idea if Lovehoney sold different alien friend sleeves in different colours, so you could have a cute little family of them going on!).
All these textures are meant to stimulate your clitoris in some way. I dunno, I’m not really sold on them, I can definitely feel them, but I think they’re probably too squidgy to actually offer much in the way of making me orgasm. This squidgy-ness is because the sleeve is made from skin-safe rubber, a porous material (*Please read my Porous Toys Disclaimer Here*).
Top Tip: Since this sleeve is indeed porous (the actual plastic bullet is not), make sure to store the sleeve away from other porous materials, because your sleeve will melt if in contact with fellow porous toys. This happened to mine (before I knew what porous materials were) and loads of the spiky bits had disappeared and one arm was thinner, because it had melted and the shape was now all deformed. The plastic bullet was fine.
The vibration this toy offers is of one variety: a single-speed, weak-to-middling in strength and buzzy as fuck. Despite this, it has brought me to orgasm surprisingly! Mostly though, it just leaves me feeling the buzz on my skin, but not stimulating actual blood flow or arousal into my clitoris. If you actively want to stave off orgasm for a while, then this could work for that purpose.
This toy is DEFINITELY for beginners to clitoral or vibrating toys. Once you have bought another couple of toys, you’ll probably never look back at this one again, but we all needed to buy our first toy at some point right?
Additional Bonus: Buy this and you are buying three products: bullet vibe, textured sleeve and alien finger-puppet friend (for those of you with children, there’s an idea, if it doesn’t horrify you too much 😉 !).
Overall Rating: 6/10
(Because to be fair, it DID make me orgasm… eventually)
*Lovehoney Praise: I wanted to purchase this toy when it was in a sale for only £3 (normally its RRP is £5.99), so made sure it was in my basket, along with other items I wanted to order. I didn’t actually go to checkout these items and pay for them until the next day, by which point this BASICS bullet had sold out. I looked on the product page and it said it wouldn’t be restocked until a date that was about a month later. At this point, I thought “oh well” and just bought the other stuff.
The day after ordering, I was doing more browsing and checked out the product page for this BASICS bullet again. Lo and behold: BACK IN STOCK! After it had explicitly said less than 24 hours before that it wouldn’t be back in stock for a month. And it was back in stock after a day. Had I known, I would have waited a day and bought everything a day later. Of course, I could have bought it now it was back in stock, but I would have had to pay postage, when I could have got it bundled into everything else from my other order if only I had waited a day.
Slightly annoyed, I emailed Lovehoney with some constructive criticism, telling them of all this and asking that they kindly work on the accuracy of their “back in stock” dates, since from a month to a day is so inaccurate. I wasn’t expecting or hoping for anything more in return than a “we will take this on board”. About an hour later, I got a reply back apologising for this, and explaining restock dates can be dodgy at times, and because I was planning on buying it anyway, they would send me one out for no additional charge! I was very impressed – I know they weren’t missing out on much, since the sale price was only £3, but they didn’t have to do that, and I didn’t ask them to :). Lovely customer service over at Lovehoney, I have never had one bad word to say against them.