It has been so long since I’ve written an actual post on this blog, sorry! I have much to update you all on though in this time I’ve had away, so I’ll let you know whereabouts I am in my love & sex life before I upload any more reviews.
So, a month ago I was dumped by my boyfriend of almost three years with little-to-zilch warning. I could go into all the details of what happened, but I think it would be best if I didn’t. It is safe to say however that I do not want him back and actually feel glad that he dumped me. I am grateful for the positive things he gave me in that time – he gave me all my firsts, he brought my confidence up to the point where even when dumped I feel good about myself, he did cook me lots of yummy food haha and we had a pretty awesome sex life. He was my first love and I’m happy I got to experience that feeling, but now that chapter of my life has closed. He has not requested that any posts be removed from this site and has promised to keep its existence secret (fingers crossed he does!).
So, a few days after said dumping, I went out clubbing with my friends. Since I had been faithful to my ex for almost three years, but had just been through heartbreak, I decided to let loose and have fun. I kissed five people that night and it was so much fun! One was my female friend, but I’m still counting her in my haul. With the last one of the night, we got heavy enough that I ended up giving him a blowjob outside in the dark! We would have fucked, but I was on my period that night, so my lady parts were sadly out of action, but luckily for him, I enjoy giving blowjobs ;). I also respect him for being lovely to me and looking after me at the end of the night, as he got a taxi with me and paid for it and rode inside all the way home with me to make sure I got home safe before going home himself.
The next day I Facebook messaged him saying if he ever wanted any fun to totally just let me know. He seemed rather up for it, but it just didn’t work out in the end. I went on holiday for two weeks, so we couldn’t meet up, then he went on holiday for a week as soon as I got back, so we didn’t meet up in that time. We sexted a couple of times to tide each other over, which was super fun. He also offered me car sex, something that is on my bucket list, but I will unfortunately not be able to take him up on the offer (continue reading for explanation as to why). I don’t think he’s too bothered though, since he hasn’t messaged me since he got back from his holiday.
Amongst other options for casual, sexual fun were a friend of mine and a postman who chatted me up and gave me his a number a few months ago. The friend ended up backing out, which is fair enough, I’m not about to force anyone to engage in anything they don’t want to. I did end up fucking the postman on one of his days off, but it was only averagely satisfying, I still ended up masturbating after he left. I gave someone else their first kiss and first boob feelski and I semi-regret that now, as they have stronger feelings than they let on to me, but I can’t take it back, as much as I kinda wish I could.
Which brings me onto the latest development of my love life… I am seeing someone again! I am not proud of how soon it is after my first boyfriend, and a piece of me will always love him, but I have done enough casual stuff to recognise when something is worth more, and this new guy makes me FEEL something. And I am not letting any perceptions of “supposed timescale between relationships” disrupt my happiness. I can feel something and I am only concerned about my present happiness, not my past heartbreak.
So this is the reason why I will not be continuing with the casual options, as I am back in a monogamous relationship. He does not know about this blog, so I will try to refrain from writing about him, as I feel it might be a little unfair and non-consensual, but I may write a post if something new in regards to myself occurs.
Hope you’re happy with the update, and I promise I will try to post more regularly, everything’s just been a blur and busy lately!